Thanks for the love!

I have the greatest people in my life that I call friends.  I vent and they post beautiful things to help me up out of my stoop and help me see that what I do is important!  Thank you to all of you!

Now time for a funny story.

Last night I had to drive a friend down to Phoenix.  She had a super early flight this morning and needed to stay overnight and be taken to the airport at 4:30am.  She is my best friend and is moving to Iowa(boo!).  She had to go to look for a house and apply for jobs.  So I volunteered for the job so we could spend some time together before she leaves in 3 weeks.

We didn't get on the road until about 6pm.  As we drove down we talked about where we would eat dinner and we decided on P.F. Changs because I've never been there.  Well we didn't know where the nearest one was and we didn't think of calling anyone about it until we were about 30 minutes from our hotel.  At this point, it was about 8:15 and we were hungry.  We called a friend and she looked up where we were and told us where the nearest P.F. Changs was.  About 30 minutes in the opposite direction of where we were going.  We thought, oh we'll go anyway.  So we turn around, get off the freeway at Bell Rd. and start heading west.  I see street lights, 33rd St., 38th St. and I realize we have to go all the way down to 83rd St.!!!  Brie and I look at each other and decide that it's not worth it and turn ourselves back around.  We decide to find somewhere by our hotel to eat.

We finally reach our off ramp and we can see the hotel from the freeway.  We know we are so close.  We didn't see the immediate street to get to it so we consult our directions from Mapquest.  The directions tell us to turn on a street that runs parallel to the hotel, so we do.  Next we are to turn left on 53rd. Ave.  One problem, we can't find 53rd Ave. and we are WAY past our hotel.  So we flip around and Brie states that we must have passed it.  You think?  We're looking and we still don't see it and we pass it yet again.  Turns out that 53rd Ave. is a very small, dark side street.  The third time around, we see it and turn in.  We pass through an open gate to a housing/apartment complex.  To say the complex looked shady would have been an understatement.

Our directions are telling us to turn left onto Wilimetta which is where our hotel SHOULD be, but instead it is a dead end of apartments.  Brie starts freaking out saying, "Get us out of here!"  I tell her to calm down and we start making our way back out when she jokes, "Maybe we should go ask someone for directions."  Yeah, like I'm getting out of the car.  There were plenty of tricked out cars lining the complex though.  Make of that what you will.

We get out of the complex and praise the Lord that the gate was still open.  Then Brie has the genius idea of actually calling the hotel to get directions.  Hmmmm, now why didn't I think of that?  At this point we are laughing at the hilarity of it all and still shaking from our "brush with death".  We finally get to the hotel and check in.

Food is the next item on the itinerary.  There are a few choices.  A McDonalds right across from the hotel with several questionable characters loitering outside, or an IHOP, Taco Bell and Carl's Jr. across the freeway.  So IHOP it is.  We get there and the first thing we see is a sign on the door that reads, "No Weapons Allowed".  Nice.  We get seated and order some food.  Then I notice there is a man a couple of booths away that keeps staring in our direction.  Not gonna lie, it was freakin me out!  A short while later the man starts taking to a couple of ladies in another booth about how he made so much more money when Bush was president and about politics.  He sounds Russian.  Then a couple of men in the booth behind us start  talking about their parole and what constitutes a violation, extra jail time and the like.  GET ME OUTTA HERE!  Thankfully we are done eating.  As we pay the bill, the manager says, "Come again." yeah, will do.  We get outside and almost RUN back to the car.

Once back at the hotel, we get into our room fasten all the bolts, get ready for bed and fall asleep about 10:50pm.  We awake at 3:50am and have just enough time to get Brie to the airport and for me to drive back home to Flag.  I get home at 7:15, just in time for Sean to wake up and for Jake to take Kurtis to the bus stop and for him to go to a training for work.

It's 11:40, I'm still in my jammies and I have 30 minutes to get ready to go to work for a few hours.  I can't wait.  All I have to say is, I had better sleep good tonight!

Frustrated!

Do you ever get the feeling that what you are trying to do is meaningless?  I am suddenly finding out all these things about myself that I don't necessarily like.  I am realizing that while I have good ideas, I rarely execute them or finish them if I do start.  Why is that?  I don't really know why I do that.

I wanted to write a cookbook, but haven't finished.  Why?  Maybe because I think, no one will be interested in "healthy recipes".  I have started several businesses, but never been successful.  Why?  Maybe it's because I am not good at the mundane aspects of the business and so I sabotage myself.  I would like to start a women's choir for LDS young women and relief society sisters, but can't seem to do so because I don't know where to start.  Why do I not seem to be going anywhere or doing ANYTHING!  I write blogs that few people read, sell products that few people want, work jobs that hold no meaning for me, have a diseased body that won't let me do all I want to do and I have a music education degree that I can't use.

I just feel so FRUSTRATED with my life.  I'm not very good at being a mom or at anything else for that matter and I feel so lost right now.  What can I do to change that?  I want my life to have meaning or at least feel like it does.  Right now I feel like I am just existing, trying to make it through the day with enough energy to do what is absolutely necessary.  I don't expect an answer, but I had to write out my feelings today.

Attention Sugar Addicts!

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