That is the phrase I was waiting to hear early Thursday morning. Wednesday night I went into labor and things were going along quite well for several hours. I was having good strong contractions every 2 minutes so we went in to the hospital. When I got there, they put me in a triage bed, hooked me up to the monitors and asked me the million questions that they ask when you are registering. The contractions were still coming strong and consistent. By the time the nurse had finished with all the questions, they checked my cervix(fun!). Unfortunately it was still quite high and not dilated at all yet. By this time I had been having contractions for about 4 hours. The nurse sent me to wander the halls for an hour with Jake. That hour felt like 10! We came back after an hour and they checked me again and guess what?! No change in my cervix! What the crap?! A few minutes later they decided to hook me back up to the monitors. That's when I noticed a change in the contractions. They were coming less frequently. The nurse told me that they were going to move me to a room and give me some morphine to help me sleep. I had woken up contracting at 11:15pm and it was now almost 5 am. I was so tired. She also said that many times women wake up and are in better labor. So I said let's do it.
I fell asleep and when I woke up I was feeling very little. I knew what that meant. They were going to send me home. I mean what else could they do? I was still 10 days from my induction date and 16 days from my due date! Too early to induce. By the time the doctor came to see me it was 9am. I was hungry and still really tired. The last time I had eaten was 2pm the previous day and had only gotten sleep at 2 hour intervals twice that night/morning. The doctor ordered an AFI (where they measure the amount of amniotic fluid I have), and I asked one of the nurses for some food. Well Jake leaves to go to the cafeteria to get breakfast and I wait for mine to come. It never does. So they come get me for the AFI and I think that my food will be waiting for me when I get back.
The AFI does not go well. The sonographer had a hard time seeing my cervix because the baby's head was in the way and she was pushing really hard on the lower part of my abdomen. She was surprised it hurt(clearly she's never been pregnant). I told her, there isn't much cushion there. It's just my skin and the baby's head(idiot). Anyway. The torture finally ends and I get back to my room. Still no food. Now I'm crying without stopping because I just want to eat and sleep, but no one seems to understand that. Jake goes out to ask about the food and they say, "It's not here yet?" So then they tell him they'll get some for me. 15 minutes later the nurse comes in to check me again and get me ready for discharge and finally the phone rings in my room. They are asking me what i want to eat?! Really! I ask if they have eggs, no, because it is now 11:30am, only lunch stuff. I look at the nurse and ask are you ready to discharge me? She says they are so I say forget the food, I just want out of there! We are discharged 10 minutes later. Jake takes me down to the cafeteria to get me something to eat. I'm not really in the mood for lunch food, but I don't have much choice. So I grab a sandwich and juice. I scarf it down and can feel my ability to reason coming back to me. Needless to say, I did the ugly face cry A LOT that day!
We get back home and I promptly fall asleep for several hours. I am thankful for good friends who offered to help out with my boys. So that's it! I was punked by my baby!